【Zoe Voss Archives】

As head of the Department of Pizza Crime (just go with it),Zoe Voss Archives I hereby denounce pizza dipped in milk as the most heinous pizza offense yet.

The ghastly combo hit the internet earlier this week, when a 20-year-old college student posted a photo of it to Twitter. She's since made her account private, but people have reposted it anyway—accompanied, of course, by their opinions.

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Okay. Here are some reasons why this is the worst:

• Pizza is not cookies.

• Pizza, because it already has sauce, does not need to be wetter. Liquid-wise, it can be improved only by another savory sauce (buffalo, ranch, garlic sauce, etc.).

• Now you have to drink milk with bits of pizza in it -- cheesy tomato milk.

• :/

And fellow pizza crimes don't really hold a candle. Well,what about pineapple pizza? you might ask. And that pizza made with peas and mayonnaise? Well, one's a matter of taste, and the other's just disgusting, to be sure—a pizza troll, if you will, if it can be called a pizza at all.

But this? This is something else entirely.

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So, please: Don't dip your pizza in milk. Save yourself, because there's a worst case scenario here: trying milk pizza could ruin the taste of pizza for you forever.

Just, like, have a nice soda with your pizza instead. And don't even think about dipping.

Seriously.

Don't.

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