【eroticism as embodied emotion: the eroticsof renaissance faire】

Ah,eroticism as embodied emotion: the eroticsof renaissance faire the wonderful world of modern romance.

These days, the journey to find love can be quite a struggle. With dating apps, a whole lot of swiping, stalking, messaging and frustration takes place before you decide whether someone is worthy of an in-person date.

Since more and more people are turning to the digital world of Tinder and Bumble in hopes of finding their special someone, we figured dating apps could use some much-needed improvements.

Below are 14 features we wish dating apps had that would surely make our experiences much more enjoyable and far less stressful.

1. Dick pic recognition and censoring

Think Snapchat facial recognition... but with dicks. The ideal dating app would recognize dick pics before they are successfully delivered, censor them and give users the option to reveal them if they so choose. 

2. First date suggestions

One might think dating apps make life more simple, but in reality, they're a lot of freaking work. Between the constant pressure to come up with perfect responses and the finger cramps you get from swiping, the last thing users want to do is actually come up with a magical date idea. 

Maybe if apps offered first date suggestions, like "Classic Date: Dinner and Movie" or "Spontaneous Date: Arcade and Karaoke," we would feel less pressure. Plus, if the date suggestion is super lame at least you'll have something to talk about.

3. The option to see if people have been blocked by others

Why should you have to waste your time going through the painful steps of trying to get to know a stranger only to find out that they're block-worthy? If dating apps alerted you straight up when a person has already been blocked (especially by more than one person), well then that just saves you a step. 💁🏻

4. Random messages of encouragement

Sometimes dating apps, people and the pursuit of love can be kind of the worst. Wouldn't it be nice for our apps to remind us every once in a while that we're doing great and will not be forever alone? Is that too much to ask? No.

5. The option to immediately undo your accidental swipe before any sort of notification is sent out

We're talking an option to undo your swipe that doesn't suck. There should be no limits to how many times per day you can un-swipe, and definitely no cost for wanting to un-match with a person. Sometimes people change their minds. Newsflash: that's totally okay.

6. Testimonies from friends

We want to hear what people who actually know our potential matches think of them. If they don't have onefriend that's willing to write them a testimony in order to help them find love, yikes.

7. The option to see how many matches your match chatting with

You may think you have found "the one," but "the one" might be chatting with 18 other potential baes.

8. The option to "buzz" someone when you are not pleased with their actions

Every dating app should come with some sort of buzzer. Lame introduction? *buzzz* Insulting comment? *buzzzzz* Never ending narcissism? *buzzzzzzz* Calling people out on their fails would be much more enjoyable with a good old-fashioned buzzer.

9. The ability to choose your own font

Font preference says a great deal about a person. Before you pursue a relationship with someone, wouldn't you like to see if their ideal profile would feature classy Helvetica, traditional Times New Roman or a brightly-colored mess of Comic Sans that resembles your middle school AIM away message?

10. The opportunity to edit your messages once they've been sent

WE KNOW THAT’S NOT THE CORRECT USE OF “THEIR,” OKAY?! IT’S 1AM AND IT WAS A HORRIBLE MISTAKE, PLEASE LET US FIX IT.

11. A section in your bio to list "favorite couples"

It would be helpful if dating apps required users to list at least three of their favorite couples. Whether you list your favorite celebrity couples, fictional couples or even your mom and dad -- the couples you admire will give people a great sense of who you are and your overall romantic aspirations. 

If you see someone shipping Jim and Pam or Ross and Rachel, they're probably great. But if their idea of great romance is Rory and Dean or Kim Kardashian and Kris Humphries, you know to definitely think twice before swiping.

12. The chance to see people's food, literature, television and movie preferences

Knowing your potential match's music preferences is extremely important, but there are other major interests that need to be factored in as well. How about revealing some restaurant check-ins from Yelp? Favorite books from Litsy? And of course, the true compatibility test -- Netflix history. 

13. A song lyrics keyboard

Emoji and GIFs are great, but sometimes you just need to express yourself with song lyrics. The ideal dating app would feature a nifty song lyrics keyboard with a library of lyrics from all your favorite artists. 

Just type in the name of an artist and their most famous lyrics will show up on your screen easily ready to copy and paste. Next time you need to bust out some Beyoncé, think of all the typing and web browsing you'll save.

14. Reminders to take a break and enjoy real life

Are you still swiping? If so, that means you've officially been using this app for two hours and should probably take a break and immediately and go socialize with some humans in person.

Have something to add to this story? Share it in the comments.

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